One reason change is so hard

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One reason why change is so hard

Happy Sunday, Soothers. In my year-long mastermind for highly sensitive women, Soothe, which is a curriculum that goes month by month, learning things like mindset, nervous system regulation, inner child healing, shadow work and lots more, we're in a really powerful month for change:

Archetype month.

In my coaching certification, archetypes were used to shepherd identity change into a new way of being. We were given a name for our existing, current archetype that had supported us for a time but that we were outgrowing; then we were given a new archetype to orient ourselves and grow towards.

My coach named my first archetype, the one I was stepping out of, that I had outgrown, as The Quintessential Librarian: I was great at getting facts, answers, intellectualization, research; but I was also standing behind a desk all day, getting info for other people, not stepping out into the real world, not stepping into my body. 

She named my new or deepening archetype as The Water Sprite. She saw a soft, playful, even magical side to me that she wanted me to deepen. She wanted me out in the woods and ponds, embodying my fairy side, in the world, in my body, dancing lightly over rivers. 

I will be truthful: I thought this was a bunch of bullsh*t at first. Cheesy as hell. Ugh. Cringe.

But the more I allowed myself to step away from the Librarian archetype into the Water Sprite, the more my life, and my perspective of myself, shifted. I felt more playful, less rigid, softer. Magic made its way into my life. My spirituality and relationship with nature deepened.

It was powerful.

Right now, I'm doing this archetype work alongside the women of Soothe, and I've decided I am leaving behind the archetype of the Track Coach (obsessed with increasing speed, always holding a stop watch, tracking metrics, trying to beat everybody) into the Harvest Goddess (aligns herself with the cycles of earth and time, trusts in abundance and slowing down).

The archetypes of the other women are powerful to see, too, and we're doing a 21-day rewiring, journaling and embodiment challenge to move ourselves toward our new, deepening and intentional archetypes.

But at the start of this month's lesson, I told the women to expect that they might deeply resist this change, this transformation, desired as it was. They might avoid it with every cell of their being. They might procrastinate. They might doubt they'd pick the right archetype. They might avoid the assignments. And this was all normal.

I illustrated this concept with a story about perhaps the most common but powerful example of change: the caterpillar into the butterfly, and the cells that spark the first shift from the caterpillar into the butterfly, named imaginal cells.

The imaginal cells are the parts of a caterpillar that hold the information of the butterfly. They are latent within the cell, until it is time for them to grow.

From opendoor.io:

As a caterpillar prepares to transition, almost every cell in a caterpillar’s system starts freaking out, because suddenly the system is failing, nothing seems to work, and it’s clear that everything the caterpillar understands about how its world works is now unsustainable and obsolete. At this critical moment, the imaginal cells awaken, to show everyone else how to become a butterfly. At first, these individual imaginal cells are attacked as heretics by the caterpillar’s immune system. But the imaginal cells find one another, and when they do, they cluster together in the same place, and grow stronger together. They don’t wait for permission, they just start creating a butterfly. Finally, as the rest of the caterpillar dissolves into goo, it stops attacking the imaginal cells, and begins to follow their lead. In the darkest hours, the imaginal cells can not only inspire others, but they can create and execute a plan to make the future more beautiful than anyone else can possibly imagine.

Do you see that? The very cells that are the spark of transformation into a butterfly are literally trying to be killed by the caterpillar itself.

And so is it for change.

When you desire change, when you want to step into a new archetype of your own, it is very likely that parts of you will resist it, shame it, fear this change. They may try to sabotage it. They may even try to kill this new, emerging part.

And that is normal.

So my advice to you today is, as you change, as you feel the butterfly part of you emerging, and other parts resisting that very change you so desire, have compassion for all parts of you.

The past archetypes that kept you safe. The Quintessential Librarian and the Track Coach? They helped me succeed academically, and build a successful business.

Thank you, Librarian. Thank you, Track Coach.

Let those parts know your gratitude, your compassion. Tell them they're not going anywhere, they're just getting to take a break as this season of you emerges.

And find guidance from others who have gone through their own transformations successfully, to help hold your hand as the goo dissolves your nervous system and something unfamiliar but beautiful begins to emerge.

I have two offerings that can help you guide this emerging change.

On Tuesday, June 21st, I am hosting a Sunday Soother Summer Solstice Ritual. We'll do live journaling, a solstice Tarot spread, and a small live ritual to shepherd in our second half of 2022 together and mark the longest night of the year. $25, tickets here. 

And if you feel the transformation of business owner, self employment and entrepreneurship coming your way, I urge you to get on the waitlist for my business coaching program for highly sensitive emerging entrepreneurs. The course opens in July and when you're on the waitlist you'll get $100 off the total cost of $997. 

Here's to change, the beauty and the breakdown, and all that comes along with it. Step into your season of growth, and know that if resistance is along for the ride, remind yourself of the imaginal cells of a butterfly. Your new identity has its own sort of imaginal cells, and it will know where to lead you. All you have to do is let go and trust.a