Waiting never wins

Happy Sunday, Soothers. In my own personal work, and that of my clients, I naturally deal with a lot of black and white thinking. A lot of perfectionism. A lot of fear around getting things "right." Making the "best" decision.

This is one of the ways in which we're taught to approach life, goals, making decisions, progress, moving forward.

And rarely do I deem something "wrong" or "right", because there's about a billion subtleties to any situation in life, but I am going to go there here:

Trying to figure out the "right" decision is 100% the wrong approach.

When people try to figure out the "right" way to move forward, that is the thing that keeps them stuck. I see clients get stuck in what I call "research mode," spending hours, weeks, months, years! in google mode, attempting to dissect and discern the best way, the most efficient way, the optimal way, the perfect way, the way that is going to preserve their ego, the way that won't bring them any fear, the way in which they can guarantee there won't be failure.

And in this belief that there is a "right" way to move forward — or ANY way in which you won't experience fear, embarrassment, failure, uncertainty — is what is going to guarantee you won't make the kind of progress or achievements that you deserve and are worthy of in your life.

In short, waiting never wins.

Where are you waiting for the "right" answer in your life? Be honest with yourself: Are you doing it out of self-protection, or wanting somebody else to figure it out for you or tell you the "best" thing to do?

And where could you take imperfect action instead?

Because that's what moves you forward. Not waiting. Not research mode. Not figuring out the right answer.

Forward movement.

Clarity through messy, or let's just call it what it is, ugly action.

I'm taking a lot of messy and ugly action right now as I build out my first-ever membership.

I don't really know what I'm doing. I've done some due diligence and research and community surveys, for sure, but I'm basically creating this membership in a messy manner.

I'm guessing at what to price the tiers.

(I had to even guess that tiers was the approach that would work. It might not!)

I'm guessing at what content belongs in what tiers, what content people might even really want.

And I do this because I know that while the first year of my membership might be wobbly, that maybe nobody will sign up, that I might overgive (as I always do!) burn out, feel resentful, draw back on the content, change the pricing...

It's the only way to create the membership that's hiding on the other side of all of these imperfect tries.

(PS: If you want to sign up to be notified for when the Sunday Soother membership launches, and get a special founding members discount, sign up here.)

This metaphor may help this concept land more deeply for you:

Picture yourself at the banks of a river. The river looks relatively intimidating; you know you could swim it. But you're a little nervous and unsure. On the other side of the river is something you badly, deeply want. But curses, that river is standing in between you and the thing.

What I see people most often do: Spend 1-2 years researching how to build a perfect raft. They ask everybody around them about raft building. They spend hours perfecting the raft. Testing it. Making sure it would never sink. By god, it will be indestructible and magnificent!

Finally, one day, they get up the courage to try the raft out, they embark on it across the river... and immediately the raft gets wiped out and sinks. They crawl back to the riverbank, with no way forward, having spent years of their life on this effort.

In the meantime, there was somebody else on the river bank who looked at and assessed the river for a few days, felt certain they could swim it messy without dying, and get to the other side.

And they jumped in.

Oh! A wave took them under for a second. But they arose, determined and moving.

Ack! A large branch floated down the river. But they saw it as it floated towards them, and were able to dodge it.

Eeek! Do they see that large rock? DO THEY?! Phew. They saw it, didn't crash into it, and hung on it for a few minutes to catch their breath, then swam around it.

Sure, they flailed, and it was cringey to watch. Nobody would have given them an award for pretty or efficient swimming. They got soaked and bedraggled and out of breath. There were definitely a couple of self-doubting and scary moments.

But they made it to the other side in a matter of days.

Instead of spending two years trying to build the perfect floating raft that would never get them wet... that didn't work anyways.

Don't get stuck in "research mode," my friends.

It's no way to spend a life.

Come on in, let's jump into this exhilarating, scary, wild river together.

And let's trust that we can swim. It may be messy, but our limbs and lungs are willing, our spirits are resilient, and we know the universe is on our side.

Let's go.