Why cringe is your growth edge

Happy Sunday, Soothers. If there is one thing that I can generally credit a lot of my happiness, self-worth, success in life, it is this:

I dive into the cringe.

As I've gone through a spiritual and personal awakening over the last several years, I noticed a transformation happening:

The more I was willing to do or explore things that seemed utterly stupid and cringey to me... the more I grew. The more I accepted myself and spoke kindly to myself. The more fun I had. The more my compassion strengthened, for me and others. The more my shame and self-loathing melted.

In fact, with reflection, the things that have brought me the greatest healing and joy in fact started with me squinching up my face and making an "ewwww" gesture at them, finding them hopelessly pathetic and earnest, the realm of desperate losers.

The Artist's Way.

Tarot.

Inner child healing.

Working with energy in a variety of ways: Reiki, Feng Shui, the chakra system.

Astrology.

Spirituality, overall.

All of these above have made the greatest contributions to my healing, growth and joy, and yet, I started out regarding them with utter contempt and cynicism.

So here's the little secret I want to let you in on today:

Cringe is your growth edge.

Cynicism is your path towards vulnerability.

And if you can pause long enough to put the cringe and cynicism to the side for just a moment, and instead bring curiosity to whatever is causing you to feel cringey and cynical or judgmental, you will find some gorgeous rewards.

I've long been tuned into the powerful path that is my cringe, but I was extra sparked to think about this earlier this week when I was walking around and listening to this podcast interview with writer, teacher and herbalist Asia Suler.

At one point in the excellent interview, she casually mentions that "Silliness is how we play with cultural norms." She goes on to mention the example of a child being silly, like putting a shoe on their head, and testing the reaction of the adults around them. Silliness shows us the lines of our culture and also where we can push against what is already established.

I believe the same of cringe, for our own internal growth. Because this is the truth as I know it:

If you feel cringey or cynical around something, that signals that you in the past had to build up a defense of a cynical shield to protect yourself from being judged about something you were actually delighting in as a kid.

Maybe it was magical stuff. Maybe it was the way you spoke to animals. Maybe it was your drawing or your writing. The outfits you wanted to wear. That you liked concocting little mixtures of sticks and grass and berries and calling them a potion. That you had a favorite stuffed animal you brought with you everywhere. That you loved to sing enthusiastically.

And then somebody called it stupid. Or childish. (Imagine, a child being... childish!) Or otherwise explicitly or implicitly mocked it or told you it wasn't acceptable, or productive, or would run you the risk of being excluded.

The wounding blow landed, the shame sunk in, and the first walls of protection went up.

Over time, they hardened.

And eventually, they turned into powerful protection methods of cringe and cynicism.

So.

It's time to do it different, now.

It's time to start using your feelings of cringe and cynicism as clues to find the activities, the hobbies, the interests, the things that actually will bring you and your inner child enormous amounts of joy, satisfaction and healing.

Just take some time in the next couple of weeks to jot down what you squinch your nose up at, or throw a cynical remark or thought towards.

Then see if you can, quietly, tenderly, actually explore a bit about that thing. Maybe just a quick google search, or maybe you get brave enough to ask somebody more about it. Maybe you pick up a book, attend a workshop.

Maybe some magic happens.

Let your cringe lead the way, and see what unfolds.