A gift guide to regulate your nervous system
Happy Sunday, Soothers. I know a lot of you are more interested in regulating your nervous system, or even understanding the basics of your nervous system so you can feel more grounded. I thought for what will probably be my final Sunday Soother of the year that I'd put together some of my favorite resources for you that have helped me learn about and settle my nervous system.
Before we dive in, some events I have coming up:
This Wednesday, December 21st: A Winter Solstice Journal Circle. $22, 90 minutes of ritual, journal prompts and community. Lifetime replay.
Wednesday, January 4th: Intentional and Intuitive Goal-Setting Workshop. Sliding scale $22-$66. Settle in with your candles, tea, cozy music and journal for 90 minutes of presentation on intuitive and intentional goal-setting, and tuning into your themes and goals for 2023. This workshop will be a mix of me teaching, live exercises, and a custom workbook to help you align to your word of the year and heart goals for 2023.
Finally, this is the last week to book a discovery call for Soothe, my year-long group coaching program for highly sensitive women. Enrollment closes Dec. 22 and there are limited call spots left, book a call here!
Now, to the nervous system gift guide!
Okay, so with the nervous system, all you need to know for the purposes of this gift guide is most of us are highly dysregulated, because we live in a sh*t-balls-insane oppressive society with stimulation flying at us from every corner and also most of us have a high level of unprocessed trauma (yes, even you; especially you who doesn't think you have ANY trauma). When you're dysregulated, it means you're either in fight/flight (racing around, full of anxiety, or being mean to others or picking fights), or freeze/shut down (numbed out, ashamed, depressed, frozen).
With nervous system regulation, the hope is that little by little, with exercises and experiences and practices and application, you move yourself back into a state where you are spending the majority of your time (but not all! it's normal to be dysregulated in and out, it's just when we get stuck in one dysregulated state) in a safe and social and engaged state.
Below are some of the tools, supplements, resources and more I used, and still use, to help create safety in my nervous system. This isn't comprehensive, there are so many great resources out there! But this is a good starting point.
I also want to clarify that I don't think we can consumer-shop our way out of trauma or nervous system dysregulation. Affordable mental health care and free resources and education are what we really need. Also, some of the best regulating tools for your nervous system are absolutely free, nature being my preferred one. Nature, quality sleep, time off screens, social connection, laughter can do more for our nervous systems than any tool you can buy off the internet.
That said, sometimes extra resources are wanted or needed, or are just good starting points. So here we go! (Also, I asked members of my Sunday Soother Slack community some of their recommendations so have
included those as well!)
Quality epsom salts. A huge part of my regulation process is Epsom salt + baking soda baths. Two cups of epsom salts and one of the small boxes of baking soda should do it. My fave epsom salts are Dr. Teal's Lavender and Ancient Minerals. Don't have a bath? You can also use a foot soaker tub.
Scent for me is one of the best ways to regulate my nervous system. This particular essential oil, a parasympathetic blend that smells so yummy, is something I was smelling like 4x a day at my most dysregulated times.
My favorite incense, Root Chakra Incense by Triloka, is something else I was lighting like 5 times a day to ground myself.
The Osea skincare brand has products geared towards the Vagus Nerve, including this set of a pillow spray, massage oil and bath soak (each can also be purchased individually, I have the Vagus Nerve oil and love it).
There are so many great books to educate yourself with. Deb Dana's Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory and Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve: Self-Help Exercises for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, and Autism by Stanley Rosenberg are two I can highly recommend.
These lavender heated eye masks are * chef's kiss * and make falling asleep at night a lot easier for me.
EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping) has been critical for me in processing emotions and feeling more regulated. A subscription to the Tapping Solution App could be a nice gift; I also like Brad Yates and Haley Hoffman Smith's programs.
I don't own this but it seems like a great and cute idea: Hack Your Nervous System Anti-Anxiety Deck: Regulate stress while promoting self-acceptance with 60 cards that put empowerment at your fingertips.
This nervous system tonic has been critical for me, as well as passionflower (you will want to cross check against any medications you're on for these).
Herbs in general have been hugely helpful for regulating my nervous system, nettle and oat straw in particular. Frontiercoop.com is a great place to buy herbs from. I'm going to cut + paste from a recent newsletter from Luis Mojica, a trauma therapist and nutritionist from whom I've learned a ton this year: Nettles are loaded with antioxidants, chlorophyll, amino acids, and minerals. One cup of nettles can have up to 500mg of calcium! And it's all usable nutrition because it's from a whole plant. The body knows how to digest it versus a pill. My favorite way to make nettles is adding 1/2C of nettle leaf to 4C boiled water. Steep it for 4-8 hours and enjoy 1 C each day in the morning. Nettles is a brilliant replacement for coffee because it nourishes our blood and brains with nutrients and helps us maintain our own natural energy. It's also helpful for the adrenals. Oatstraw is THE herb for the nervous system -- at least I'm convinced it is. My love, Aemen, came on my podcast to talk about how oatstraw nourishes our bodies and gives them permission to go slow.Oatstraw balances blood sugars, nourishes the nerves, and helps the adrenals rest. My favorite way of making it is 1/2C of the green tops in 4C boiled water. Steep for 4-8 hours and have 1C, warm, in the evening. You don't have to use the green tops. It can be any part of the plant. The green tops are simply more nutrient dense. I recommend 1C nettles in the morning and/or mid-day & 1C oatstraw 2 hours before bed in the evening. Please note: when you strain your 1C you'll have another 2-3C left in the jar. Just refrigerate and use the next day. Both infusions will keep for 3-5 days in the fridge.
I have (mostly) switched out coffee for decaf or cacao and this has been absolutely critical for my nervous system. I am excited to try this brand of decaf, which is made in a chemical-free process (apparently not always the case!!) and I like the Navitas brand cacao for my morning cup.
A session with a reiki energy healer can be incredibly restorative. My faves are Tracie at 1000 Cranes and Missy Toy Ozeas.
Anything related to nature is the 100% best regulating approach, in my humble opinion. Look around your area for classes on forest bathing, guided nature hikes, or consider a state park pass.
This is more $$$ but I love my Higher Dose infrared sauna mat and PEMF grounding mat.
Nothing calms me down more than good low lighting, so I love my Himalayan salt lamps.
I love magnesium as a supplement. The kind of magnesium depends on your particular needs, but I use the CALM magnesium supplement a couple of hours before bed most nights.
Sound baths and yoga nidra (thanks to Varia for this rec!) are wonderful ways to regulate yourself. Your local yoga studios or local teachers may offer these services, so poke around to find out.
Sofie says: “Not a buy-able gift, but self-recorded loving kindness meditations for my inner child, recorded on my phone (and sometimes replayed at half-speed, for added comfort and soothing)”
Jenna adds: “When I found myself in environments that were really stressful, my therapist suggested we find ways to prepare. One key thing for me I’ve realized is warmth. I make sure I always have my travel slippers when away from home, I invest in cozy warm work from PJs, a heated blanket, and just anything that will keep me toasty.”
Kelly recommends her Pranamat, which she says she combines with picking a guided meditation on Insight Timer (a subscription to a meditation service like Insight Timer, Calm or Headspace could be great).
Maya offers: “An idea - any of the non-buyable gifts above can be presented as a "coupon for..." a shared experience. i.e., to do yoga nidra (virtually even) with a friend or to show them how you record loving kindness meditations. This year I'm trying to gift shared experiences/time more than things, in part for financial reasons and in part because (as long as people actually cash in the coupons) they can be more memorable. Oh and for an actual object, I find massaging achy feet with this the best, and it's cheap! “
Amanda recommends Acuball: “You can heat it up and it becomes so squishy and soothing.”
Carly recommends: “I like using these rolling pin massagers (actually got mine at a dollar store for like $4). And I use a fitness ring like this to stretch my legs when laying on the couch - feels sooo good. I use these little inflatable balls to massage my feet or to roll out knots in my back against a wall.”
I hope one or a few of these suggestions serve you. If your only 2023 goal was to settle and ground your nervous system, it would be a good one. You deserve to feel calm, grounded and regulated!