7 new ways of thinking to try

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Happy Sunday, Soothers. A while back I wrote a newsletter essay called, “Instead of positive thinking, try this.” I posited that positive thinking wasn’t useful, in fact, can be harmful, and offered a framework of trying to think in more useful ways instead.

I still think that holds, and it’s something I’ve been delving more into as I prepare to kick off my Soothe mastermind group this September. You see, I don’t believe in quote-unquote positive thinking. But I do think opening up yourself to different ways to think *is* one of the keys towards moving forward in life, especially if you struggle with patterns of fear-based, self-pity-based, or black-and-white thinking.

So I thought today I would share with you a chart I’m going to build out for the mastermind in case it is useful for you. In the image below, are five columns. The first is a mode in which you may currently be thinking that could fall under the category of “negative” or not-useful thinking. What’s next to it is examples of what that kind of thinking sounds like. The third column is the counter thought or question to ask instead to move out of the previous type of thinking, and then some examples of what that line or model of questioning could look like. Finally, there’s space for you to write your own answer.

My theory is this: our brains are the biggest super computers in the universe, but they’ve mostly been trained to exist and be stuck in a loop of self-critical or stuck thinking models.

By feeding your brain better questions or possibilities, you start to reprogram it, in a way, to become a more useful thinker.

Another angle I feel is worth addressing: Sometimes people are very comfortable in their negative thinking loops, one, because they’ve been conditioned to think this way via family models or society or their own brains’ tendencies to it, but also, I think because of this: Sometimes people don’t think they are worth having these better, more supportive thoughts.

I am such a fan of thought work, in a useful, actionable, dedicated way (not in a toxic positivity way) because this is what I believe about you:

You deserve to think you can do the thing.
You deserve to like yourself most of the time.
You deserve to have boundaries in place and surround yourself with people who think you’re rad.
You deserve to have fun.
You deserve to try.
The world needs what you have to offer.

And life is still hard and too often awful and unfair, but you still deserve to steward yourself as tenderly through it as you can, and your thoughts can help you do that.

Try these out, and let me know what you think!