A journal prompt that changed my life

Hi Soothers! Before we dive into this week's essay, here's a note to let you know about my final Soothe September workshop, Releasing Guilt and Shame with EFT Tapping, this Sunday at 8pmET. Shame and guilt can plague highly sensitive people. Because of our big emotions, our sensitivities, our needs, we may have at points in our past been made to feel wrong or "too much" and then carried this narrative, and its accompanying guilt and shame, forward into our lives today.

If you're ready to release this story about yourself being "too much" or feeling ashamed for your emotions and needs, join me for my final September Soothe workshop, Releasing Guilt and Shame with EFT Tapping, this Sunday. We will combine gentle self-inquiry, provocative journal prompts, inner child work and EFT tapping, a subconscious rewiring modality, in order to make shifts in releasing these negative thoughts and feelings about ourselves.

Bring a pen and paper, and an open mind about EFT — I'll be teaching how it works during the class, but you can watch an Intro to EFT video here if you like!

I have to say, I used to scoff at EFT when I first came across it. But when I started trying it out more regularly, it has (alongside inner child work) been one of the most powerful tools I now use for growth and change, and I want you to have that, too.

Tickets are just $25 here. We'll meet at 8pmET on Sunday the 25th but if you can't attend live you will receive a lifetime replay right after the event.

On to the essay!

Happy Sunday, Soothers. I know if you're here, you're a growth-oriented person interested in self-awareness and development. So you may have heard of mindset work, one of my favorite tools and approaches to shifting perspectives and re-training our brains.

For me, mindset is practicing the shifting of your thoughts from one way of viewing the world (fixed, negative, self-pitying) to a new reframe (supportive, intentional, useful, curious).

And one of the best ways to begin?

Asking yourself powerful prompts that encourage your brain to come up with multiple ways of looking at a situation.

How I do this personally, is, when I'm in a frustrating, tough, or triggering situation, I journal on this prompt:

What are 10-20 reasons the thing that is happening right now, that I'm classifying as negative or a roadblock, is actually perfect and useful and helping me?

This prompt is one I use for myself frequently. Let me share an example.

One day, I was having what we in the coaching biz would classify as a, uh, "bad" day. Two clients who had planned on extending their coaching backed out. Somebody who had signed up for a program decided not to, and wanted their deposit back. I'd gotten a negative email in response to some content I had posted.

But I girded my mindset loins, because I knew these bummer situations were asking something more of me:

To lean into their invitations.

I sat down for 20 minutes and forced my brain to come up with 10 reasons each of these things were actually perfect for me and were going to end up serving me. Reasons like, these spaces will allow for more aligned clients to come in. Or that ups and downs in biz are normal and I needed to learn to navigate them more adroitly. These circumstances were going to force me to get creative in my marketing to re-sell the spots. I was strenghtening my boundaries in response to judgement or commentary from others. And on and on.

And guess what? Within the next week, 7 people signed up for my program. Two new perfect 1:1 clients came through. And, most importantly, I didn't feel self-pitying and in victim mode. I could really start to see how things were working out and how I had agency.

I've had clients and friends use this prompt for everything from a delayed flight, to a bad date, to a conflict at work and more. I also used it on receiving a gulping, terror-inducing tax bill earlier this year; technical complications that were plaguing me; conflicts with loved ones; or goals and outucomes that I really desired but that didn't come to fruition.

And this prompt is not about toxic positivity and forcing ourselves to think something is great when it's sad or disappointing or harmful. Those times, we need to process those emotions and acknowledge our pain.

But in times like these, when you can't stop ruminating about a circumstance you're assuming is bad or negative, try this prompt.

What are 10-20 reasons the thing that is happening right now, that I'm classifying as negative or a roadblock, is actually perfect and useful and helping me?

Lean into the magic of learning to make your mind more flexible and growth oriented, and before you know it, you'll start seeing openings and opportunities all around you.